Chasing Life
by ItsJustCassidy
Summary: Continuation of the Hunger Games series. Set right before the end of Mockingjay, before Katniss tells Peeta her love for him is "Real". What will happen between Katniss, Peeta, Haymitch, and many other Hunger Games characters? How did they heal? How did the relationship between Katniss and Peeta flourish? What happened to Gale? This is my view of how the rest of the story happens.
1. Chapter 1

Chapter 1: Moving On

Every day gets slightly easier than the next, but not much. The brokenness isn't gone, but the cracks are slowly being glued back together. It still leaves me fragile. Hearing or seeing the wrong thing can still set me off into a spiral of emotions that leave me numb, on the floor. Haymitch doesn't come by every day. He's probably off drinking and trashing things all around his house. Every few weeks he comes by, somewhat sober, and it helps. He's still my mentor as far as I'm concerned. He's broken too. We all are.

I long for the mornings, because that's when Peeta arrives and we have breakfast together. He made some type of deal with Greasy Sae too stop coming. I'm not sure what the longing is, or why it happens, but it's there, every morning. He always brings some bread he made and makes us some type of creation. The baking and cooking calms him down. I just sit there and wait as he cooks for us. Silence overwhelms us day after day, yet I still want him there. He's good for me. I'm not sure I'm good for him, but for the time being, I let it be.

One morning like all of the others, we are sitting in silence. All you can here is the soft chewing of Peeta's newest creation, delicious as always. "Tell me to leave Katniss. I know that's what you want. I'm different, wrong. Don't pity me. Tell me to leave," he says, with an unbearably sad look upon his face. His face is full of honesty. He truly believes what he is saying to be true. "No Peeta, I want you here," I say. I mean this more than I had even known myself. I can see he isn't convinced by the expression on his face. He starts to get up and leave. I find myself begging him not to . This surprises me. Peeta's face turns into one of confusion when I cling to him. I slowly back away, afraid that my touch may have triggered a flashback. Peeta stands there calmly, with a crooked smile on his face. It's closer to the boy with the bread I used to know, but not quite there. "I'm sorry. I don't know what came over me." "It's easier now," he says, "to stop them. You make it easier Katniss." "I'm sorry," I say again. Peeta just gives a nod and the smile that isn't quite his own as we finish our breakfast. "Same time tomorrow?" he asks as he gets up to leave. "Please," I whisper. Then he walks out the door. Once again I am alone.

I decided to go to town, for the first time in weeks. First I must clean myself up a bit. I enter the bathroom. I've tried to avoid the mirror as much as possible since I've returned to district twelve, and for good reason. I think I'll have to cut my hair again, due to the monstrous sight before me. I don't understand how anyone can have visited me looking like this. No wonder Haymitch only stops by every few weeks. I somehow manage to comb out my hair, after what seems like an hour. I couldn't keep track of time anymore. It all blended together for the most part. I remembered mornings because of Peeta. I walked out of the bathroom and into my room; I opened up my closet and grabbed my black pants and gray shirt. I grabbed my pack and some money and left for the town, hoping for something new to make me feel more alive.


	2. Chapter 2

Chapter 2: A New Beginning

The walk to the town was better than expected. I walked past the houses in the victor's village, each filled with families who returned to twelve from district thirteen. I continued to walk and saw that most of the houses being rebuilt were big, solid houses, just like the one in the Victors' Village. As I walked I got many stares. They tried not the make it obvious, but I'd be staring too if the situations were reversed. They didn't know if I would shoot them with and arrow, catch on fire, or break down right in front of them. I eventually got to the square in the middle of the town and looked at all of the shops being built. Greasy Sae is there, with her granddaughter. She was about to run up and start a conversation with me when I was interrupted by the sight I saw before me. It was a bakery. I peered through the glass in the front and saw cookies, cakes, and pastries beautifully and intricately decorated. Only one hand could have created such pieces of art. Peeta.

I started thinking of the old Peeta. My boy with the bread. I knew he was making progress. I didn't know he had made enough to open his own bakery though. I missed him. The him that would never come back to me. The him that didn't see me as repulsive, or would try to kill me. My thoughts were interrupted by Greasy Sae asking me if I would take a bag to Haymitch. I took the bag and decided to cut my trip short.

I walked quickly back to our houses, knowing exactly what the package for Haymitch contained. Liquor, lots of it. When I arrive at Haymitch's, I don't even bother knocking anymore. I walk in and see him lying on the couch, looking half dead. "So it's a good day today I see". "You got that right sweetheart," he mumbles in a drunken slur. "Well, here's more to make it better, I'll see you in two weeks." "Wait," he whispers, "It's good to see you out of the house Katniss." I nod and slowly leave his house. I guess it was nice to get some fresh air after all, even if it were only for an hour.

When I got home I went to my closet and grabbed my night clothes for the first time in months. I hadn't had the energy or desire to change out of my normal clothes just to sleep, but today felt different. Maybe it could be the start of feeling a little less broken. All I know is I have a good feeling. Tomorrow morning I'm going to talk to Peeta at breakfast. I felt sleepy again now, but dread sleep more than anything. I got into my bed, and prepared to break again.

I started out in the woods hunting, which made me feel at home and at ease. I saw and animal running through the trees. A duck, a beautiful duck that had wondered from the pond, and surely would make a great meal. I shot it straight through the eye. That's when I heard her scream. Prim, I had shot Prim. Suddenly my surroundings changed and I was at the capitol. "How could you Katniss!" she screams, as she lay there bleeding to death. She had more than one arrow. There were many. Five. Six. Eight. Twelve. Twelve arrows. I look up to see Gale, President Snow, President Coin, and many others whose faces were too familiar. "The duck wandered from the pond Katniss. There's no wondering from the pond." They chanted in unison.

I woke up in the middle of my own screams. Sweat was beading down my forehead. My breathing was unsteady. My shakes were uncontrollable as I tried to get out of bed. I least I made it until morning.


	3. Chapter 3

Chapter 3: Missing

I quickly undressed and got in the shower, in hopes of washing away all of the evil that my nightmare had brought. I got out slowly and combed through my hair. It was eight o'clock. Peeta would be here in fifteen minutes for our daily breakfast routine. Today I would try and talk to him. Maybe if I talked to him about my nightmare, it would help ease the pain. On the other hand, maybe it would just cause him pain. I'd figure out something. All I knew is that I wanted to hear his voice.

He wasn't there holding me in the middle of the night anymore like all those nights on the train. I couldn't expect him to be. After all, he can barely even touch me without the risk of a flashback. I missed how it used to be. I missed having him there. I missed what we had, which was a friendship, a complicated one. He wanted more; I'm not sure what I wanted. I'm not sure of what I want now really. All I know is that I couldn't wait for him to get here.

I looked over at the clock. It read 8:30. Peeta should have been here fifteen minutes ago. Maybe he realized there was no more hope in coming every morning. Maybe he finally decided to accept me for what the trackerjackers convinced him I was. My heart sank just as I did in my chair. I should go over there. Is it possible he could have lost track of time? No, Peeta never did that. I needed him today. I needed him every day. Maybe he was running late, or planning something special. I decided to wait until 9:00, and then I'd decide what to do. I got up and started scrubbing the tiles on the kitchen counter. I hated cleaning, but I knew how much Peeta despised a dirty kitchen. Then I stopped and dropped the sponge on the floor. Why was I doing this? Why did I care so much about how Peeta felt about the kitchen? _Stop Katniss. Stop._ I couldn't allow myself to feel anymore. Letting myself feel only leads to pain, and frankly, I don't believe I can survive another dose of that.

8:45. He was now half an hour late. Peeta wasn't one to ever be late. Now I was worrying. What if something happened to him? What if he did something to himself, something he threatened to do when we were invading the capitol? This new thought enveloped my brain, and most importantly my heart. I turned away from the counter and all of my previous thoughts and ran out the front door. It felt like we were worlds apart. Every step didn't seem to take me far enough. _Breathe Katniss, Breathe. He's okay. _I cut across the grass and through the garden, stepping on the primroses he had planted for me a few months ago. This took a small stab at my heart as I saw the now wilted flowers, but I had to continue for him. The last few steps before his door felt like miles. I twisted his doorknob open and urgently let myself inside.

It was silent, completely utterly silent. An intoxicating smell filled the room. I slowly walked into the kitchen. There was a cake on the counter. It was the most beautiful cake I had ever seen. Obviously it was the work of Peeta, but he was nowhere to be found. There were bright colors and beautiful swirls around the outside rims of the cake. I looked to the top of it and my heart stopped. It read "Happy Birthday Katni-" in green icing but it was cut off with a long smear. Today was my birthday.

Suddenly I heard heavy breathing coming from my right. I walked around the island in the kitchen shocked by what I saw there on the floor. Peeta. One of his hands was clutching the counter the other was tightly gripped around his green icing bag, roughly held against his chest. Sweat was dripping down his face and his breathing was heavy and unsteady. His eyes were tightly squinted shut and hard as he could make them close. His body was shaking violently.

"Peeta!" I yelled when my brain finally took it all in. I fell on the ground next to him. His shaking suddenly stopped and his eyes opened and locked directly on me. I suddenly felt I had made a grave mistake by checking on him. His hand let go of the counter and his other dropped the bag of icing. He started to lunge towards me with both hands. _This is it, _I thought to myself. I closed my eyes and prepared for his hands to tighten around my throat, for this all to be over.

Instead, I felt his arms go around my waist. I slowly opened my eyes, to see Peeta in my lap, completely vulnerable. I looked down into his blue eyes and saw tears filled them up. I suddenly felt terrible for thinking he was about to kill me. "Katniss," he whispered, "I'm sorr-". "Shhh. It's okay Peeta," I calmly interrupted. I slowly wrapped my arms around his body, crumpled up on the floor. He cried as I held him, leaning against the counter. Now it was my turn to take care of him, just like he did for me all those nights ago.

It was the first time I had felt any real emotion for a while. I started to cry with him. Every few minutes a new tear would slide down his face. I'd wipe it away with my fingers, feeling his soft skin with every touch. His eyes fluttered shut and I knew he had fallen asleep. That's when I saw it. Looking down at his innocent, sleeping face, I saw my boy with the bread. I let myself go too. I had what I needed in this moment. Nothing could take that away. For a moment, I was no longer missing a part of myself.


End file.
